Kisumu Woman Abandoned By Baby Daddy After Giving Birth To Twins: "Not Been Easy"

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Kisumu Woman Abandoned By Baby Daddy After Giving Birth To Twins: "Not Been Easy"
  • Purity Adhiambo recently shared her heart-wrenching story of being abandoned by her boyfriend after giving birth to twins
  • The young woman, who had been in a relationship with her boyfriend since college, said her life took a turn after her partner left for training in Kiganjo
  • He had assured her that they would live together and raise their family after his training; however, fate had other plans as Purity gave birth to twins

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A young woman in Kisumu, identified as Purity Adhiambo, has come forward with a distressing tale of abandonment by her partner after giving birth to twins.

Purity's boyfriend promises her life together

Purity shared her story of struggle and desperation, hoping to raise awareness about her situation and appeal for support in terms of employment.

According to Purity, her ordeal began in 2021 when she became pregnant by her college boyfriend. He assured her they would build a life together after completing his training in Kiganjo.

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However, Purity told TUKO.co.ke that fate took an unfortunate turn when she gave birth to twins while their father, Brian Odhiambo, was away for his training.

Despite his earlier promises, he has since vanished, leaving Purity to bear the responsibility alone.

"It has not been easy on my side since the guy ran away from the responsibilities," Purity revealed, her voice heavy with emotion.
"I have been surviving with the help of my parents, but I can feel that they are getting overwhelmed by the burden. Life has become extremely difficult."

Purity's partner blocks her on his phone

Purity recounted her attempts to contact her partner, sharing that he ignored her calls and eventually blocked her.

She expressed her feelings of stress and depression due to the weight of the situation she found herself in.

Struggling with the challenges of single motherhood, Purity is reaching out to the Kisumu community and the country for assistance.

She holds a Diploma in Food and Beverage Management, showcasing her determination and education.

Despite her qualification, she is willing to take on any job that will help her provide for her twins and secure their future.

"I had a boyfriend who impregnated me while we were still in college in 2021. He went for training in Kiganjo and promised that we would move in together after the training. I gave birth while he was away, and God blessed me with twins," Purity shared.

Mother of twins in need of a job

"Life has become tough. I'm appealing to anyone willing in Kisumu to offer me a job. I won't be choosy about the work, as long as it helps me provide for my children."

Purity's story shines a light on the challenges faced by single mothers in society, particularly when abandoned by partners.

Her courage to share her story publicly demonstrates her determination to overcome adversity for the sake of her children.

As she seeks support from the community and job opportunities to secure her family's well-being, her narrative serves as a reminder of the importance of empathy and assistance in times of need.

To help Purity, one can contact her on +254 790425333

More parents share Purity's experience than we often realise. Research has shown the vast majority of relationships change after having a baby.

Expert says relationship fluctuates over time

A 2021 study from the University of Born showed that, on average, relationship satisfaction fluctuates over time.

This declines during the first ten years of being together – whether couples are parents or not. But throughout that trajectory, satisfaction is lower for parents than for non-parents.

It shouldn’t be surprising that parenthood presents challenges to a partnership. For the majority of couples, what psychologists call “protective” relationship factors – such as communication, intimacy and time together – take a hit when a baby is born.

In an interview with TUKO.co.ke, Murugu highlighted several potential reasons behind men leaving without looking back and delved into the complexities of such situations.

She emphasised that while Purity's side of the story was crucial, understanding the complete picture required considering the man's perspective.

She acknowledged that abrupt changes in behaviour are usually preceded by signals and patterns.

"It’s important to note that nobody wakes up and decides to change abruptly, they send signals and unmistakable patterns of their course of action," said the relationship expert.

Factor that can trigger a man to leave his relationship

Men's departures, Murugu explained, can be triggered by various factors:

Murugu pointed out difficulties in handling responsibilities, commitments, and poor Role models while growing up as some of the factors

"Being the Police officer demands a lot, the guy may have been unable to handle work and still play the father/husband role due to the nature of his work," she said.

Another aspect was the lack of support, respect, and care from his wife, with Murugu pointing out that men are emotional beings; they are lions who should be respected.

"A properly taken care of man, a respected man is always a good dad and a generous husband. When he lacks the above coupled with disrespect, it’s a Matter of time before he flees," she said.

Irresponsible friends and colleagues who, with time, influence negatively are another factor that would make a man leave his relationship, as told by the relationship expert.

According to Murugu, most men who emulate their friends or workmates forget their responsibilities and commit to making their friendships work outside their family to gain favour and a name.

Could lousy in-laws make a man abandon his family?

As explained by Murugu, this happens especially when the man in question has low self-esteem and is not receiving attention at home but is getting both attention and recognition from friends.

Another factor was feeling inadequate for the task of fatherhood.

"Some people are so concerned with s*x that they don't care about the consequences. Some are genuinely unaware how bad of a person they are. Denial can be powerful. Some people have kids, never wanted them and thus can’t do the bare minimum of parenting," she said.

The relationship expert also argued that lousy in-laws who meddle with the couple's private affairs could also lead o the man walking out.

In middle and lower-income households, this can put lots of pressure on the working parent, usually the father.

He may face criticism from his wife, her family, or even his own if he can not improve his income. Murugu says some wives would start to resent him and can not help but lose respect for him.

"Other wives are more supportive… but the husband may still feel like a failure and seek release in all manor of risky potentially marriage breaking behavior," she sadi.

The man is no longer centre of attention

Continued sexual dissatisfaction as the man is no longer the centre of his wife’s attention after the baby is born.

This may mean a reduction of sexual activity, but it could also mean the child comes first, and most men struggle with the former.

"A few immature ones also struggle with the latter. Loss of s*x drive in the wife is common, it’s not unheard of in some men. If the baby is difficult, it can also lead to sleep deprivation and exhaustion in one or both parents. Any man who expects to be still centre of attention after his child has been born probably has some kind of 'ism'," said Murugu.

Emotional abuse from the lady could also be another factor in why a man walks out of a relationship when a baby is born.

Murugu argued hormonal changes in the mother as her body gets put through the ringer could affect her personality, and some struggle with depression. At the same time, some have a more severe temper.

"In short, they might have changed. The husband usually doesn’t change. He’s still the same. He doesn’t get that things are different and hopes she goes back to how she was," said Murugu.

Are there ways to mend such situations?

Lastly, the relationship expert pointed out that if a father abandoned his child, it was because he was a coward.

"Most likely, he’s a failure who cannot face the ones who he’s failed. Abandonment is the worst form of abuse, and any parent who abandons a child is selfish," she said.

To mend such situations, Murugu recommended open communication, active listening, and making time for each other.

Partners should express their needs, discuss concerns, and be honest about emotions.

Murugu concluded that a relationship's foundation must be strong enough to withstand life's challenges, reminding couples to offer mutual care and inclusion.

"However close you were before the baby was born, your partner can't read your mind. Both your lives are changing, and you have to talk about it,'"she said.
"You and your partner need to tell each other what you want and what's bothering you if you're resentful, angry or upset. Be honest about what you need in all life aspects," she added.

Teen mum abandoned by baby daddy cautions young girls

TUKO.co.ke previously reported a young mother shared pieces of advice to teenage girls pertaining to the motherhood journey and parenting experience.

The young mum advised her peers not to rush to get pregnant early, sharing her painful experience.

"Ladies, especially wenye mko my age (19), msikubali kupata mtoto mapema. Niko na mtoto na ninajua what goes on. (Ladies, especially those of my age (19), don't agree to have a baby early. I have a child and I know what goes on)," she said in an emotional video.

The teen mum who affectionately held her baby while she recorded the video opened up about baby daddy dramas.

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Purity Adhiambo
Purity Adhiambo

Kisumu Woman Abandoned by Baby Daddy After Giving Birth to Twins: "Not Been Easy" - Tuko.co.ke
Kisumu Woman Abandoned by Baby Daddy After Giving Birth to Twins: "Not Been Easy" - Tuko.co.ke

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