- Nairobi lawyer Christine Muthoni has advised women looking to get married to divorced men to do thorough due diligence for their own good
- According to her, such men tend to paint their estranged wives as the bad ones to win new love, which blinds the new catches with love
- She asked the women to peruse court records to make informed decisions, and only agree to marriage after confirming he is a good man
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Nairobi divorce attorney Christine Muthoni has written a heartfelt letter to young women looking to get married to divorced men.
In a post on her Facebook page, Muthoni underpinned the need for such women to take a step back and question why the man is divorced.
Do due diligence, Muthoni
According to her, most ladies become too smitten in the relationship that they overlook the same red flags that sent away the former wife.
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She insisted on the need for due diligence, adding that court records are public and it is prudent for them to read the divorce judgement and confirm there is actually a decree absolute.
"If he has children, find out whether he is involved in their life. Or did he also divorce the children when he divorced his wife? Empower yourself young woman. Rely on facts," she said.
Muthoni explains that many young women in love tend to get the false feeling that they have magic powers to change him where his ex-wife and mother were unable to.
Women suffer from saviour syndrome
Reached for comment, she told TUKO.co.ke that love blinds, making many to miss the red flags, especially the fact that the man is still grieving his divorce.
"Grief makes people biased as they have victim mentality and don't see their role in the collapse of the marriage," she noted.
That explains why most divorced men looking for new relationships paint their estranged wives badly, with most claiming that the ex is a bitter baby mama who just wants to frustrate him.
Furthermore, many women suffer from saviour syndrome which makes them think they can pick a deadbeat and love him enough to change him.
"Hun…there is no court of law that frustrates poor innocent men. Find out what the law says. Find out what the love of your life is in contempt of," she warned.
Proceed if all is okay
The only way to mitigate against avoidable heartbreaks is perusing court files which is cheap and legal.
She gave her blessings to the lucky women who are able to confirm that indeed the divorcee has no fault because some are good men who were simply mismatched.
"What I am saying is, make properly informed decisions. Don’t buy hearsay just because of love. Otherwise it will ramba you too," she concluded.
Divorce is not failure
In an earlier interview, the family lawyer told TUKO.co.ke that divorce doesn't make one a failure as has been made to look by society.
Her sentiments were informed by the fact that there is so much stigmatisation attached to divorce in the African setup.
It is for this reason that most people would rather hold onto marriages that are not working, relinquishing their happiness and freedom.
"Those who walk away from such marriages should pat themselves on the back for making such decisions because not many are able to successfully do it," she said.
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